Our parents do it. Our grandparents do it. Our great grandparents probably did it too. Everyone has their favourite person in the family, who they look out for more, but why do we do it? Being born in a big family, favouritism was inevitable. Sometimes it’s the prettiest, mostly it’s the youngest. The eldest child gets the responsibilities. The parent who gives in to your stubborn tantrums more often gets the vote. The kid who’s socially awkward blends in with the background. The chatterbox talks their way through to getting bigger presents then their other siblings.
You might say our culture nurtures some bad habits. We talk about ‘that’ child as if he’s an outcast. By ‘we’ I mean grown ups, supposedly the more sensible of the lot. We talk about our kid as if he’s invisible and has no sense to what we’re speaking of. In fact, it etches into their brains so much so, that they will start believing it too. They will believe that they really are ‘good for nothing’. They are very friendly but don’t have the skills to talk to people and start a conversation. They will also believe when you say they are very talented. So why instigate them to revolt with our negative words. Why not take the reverse psychology approach. Your kid is too shy to make friends? Talk about how he never gives up and forces himself out of his comfort zone to approach new people and make new friends. Most probably he is already aware of his weaknesses and he does not need you to feed it anymore.
I’ve seen my elders take part in this and it’s not pretty. It’s actually quite petty when you realise what’s going on. Having said that, if you’re the favourite, it can be fun. All the attention, the love. I know what it feels like and despite all the perks, I despise being the favourite. Maybe it’s easier for me to say, since I’ve already experienced it, rather am a part of it.